I’m never gonna call my dad or see him I don’t want to
Umm I looked at treatments other tHan meds and the therapy stuff just made me feel.l,:/ ..umm I don’t want to confront my problems I want to run away lol…
I kinda of want beta blockers or benzos cuz I do not want to fucking deal with these random attacks i fucking cry and scream in school on a daily basis i MISS SO MUCH CLASS and in public it’s so bad I have really bad symptoms I’m afraid it’ll happen if I’m like in an elevator idk idk idk
Like some people talk about faking anxiety to get them to abuse but like I THINK IT WOULD HELP MEbut my doctor thinks I’m asking for drugs..which I am..but to help me.l I just read a lot about them.
I just turned 16 and it’s not fucking normal to feel like this EVERYDAY
Why do I have so many anxiety disorders like is this all from abuse omg.. How come I didn’t act like this while I was abused? Why did it get worse when it was over..,
I have panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder and OCD and even though I wasn’t diagnosed with this one I’m 100% sure I have social anxiety disorder. Like I’m not like ths 24/7 ok MSYBE I am sometimes omg I hate when I type maybe and it does MSYBE I am so so mad anyways okay so I just lost my train of thought but I am so so nervous all the time sometimes it’s not as intense as other times so people don’t really tell actually I think some CSNT tell ugh I did it again
I think i overthink and worry too much THATS THENPROBLE M
Um I don’t have it.
I say people don’t care about me but I don’t know that for sure I don’t know exactly what they’re thinking so sorry
I had a thought once that everyone’s mind has their own knowledge and opinions and yeah things are right and things are wrong like in math 2+2=4. But when it comes to like controversial opinions and all that stuff something that is wrong to someone else maybe right to them… Maybe there is no right and wrong in some situations and our thoughts are all like paint mixed together and it’s all a grey mess and that’s why we all have so much conflict issues cuz no one is gonna agree all the time on something and idk… Like ..idk I’m just trying to be open minded…I have my opinions someone else has theirs..and I can’t force it. But I try to wonder why they think that ..or why I think that’ll.and idk MSYBE I’m just stupid obviously killing people is bad but what if it’s really good. No idk everything has a reason maybe or not. Or like everything now is lies or maybe im just overthinking.. Idk idk idk stupid
I wish I voiced my opinions concerns and beliefs more clearly……I would stand up for things more if I didn’t stutter and get stuck when they argue with me